the highlight of my day

for everyone who has someone .....the highlight of your day

little do you know
how much i look forward to that little part of my day
when i get to sit down in the warmth of my bed
talking to you..one on one though not face to face
i feel you just as close as if you were here
when everything has been all bottled up i get to let loose knowing you understand and lend a listening ear.....
having a good laugh with not a care in the world because at that point all that matters is you
i have your maximum attention and you got mine.
every single sweet word you say is music to my ears to keep me going until the next time i get this special moment with you...the highlight of my day

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giving my all

i just wanna tell you
i didn't know this is how things would be
i had been hurt before
and i didn't wanna give my all
i didn't realize i was in this deep

you love me regardless
i know sometimes its hard
but still you hold on
giving me more than i will ever know
still you stay strong

now am letting go
letting go of the past hurt and pain
to love without holding back
bringing down these walls
breaking these chains
coz all i was is to be with you
so am giving my all

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in the unknown

at a crossroad
don't know were to go or how i got here
360 turn don't recognize which direction
i came from
hard decision to make
how do i get away from this situation
is it a dream...a bad dream
who do i turn to

i hear a soft voice
i look around puzzled,whats going on
then i see a hand held out to me
i grab hold..for dear life
holding on having faith in the unknown
as am led down a path
even though i don't know what lies ahead
i have a feeling everything will be alright
am not promised storm less days
or rainless nights
but come what may with you by my side
i will sty strong and walk this life line with my head high

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tell me who...

who will i talk to?
when you turn a deaf ear!!!
you want to talk but never listen......

who will i rely on?
if you have this wall around you
you say i don't know you but how am i supposed to reach you

who will i run to?
when you don't care how i feel inside
its always about you....and i thought it was us!!

who will i cry to?
when am afraid you will judge me
it wont matter whats making me sad...it never does!!!

who will make me happy?
when you never appreciate me
i do all this for you...do you even notice!!!

tell me who.....coz i thought thats why i had you!!!
i dont think you ready to have me in your life
so maybe i should pick myself up and walk away!!!

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life..*sigh*

whats goin on ..i got no idea
i wanna do so many things...make my life the way i want it to be
but its like i know how i wanna do it but i just cant seem to get started
maybe i just dont know were to start.......
am sick and tired of being here in this place or drama
not the kind were you got people pissing you off the kind were you always worrying
life and its responsibilities are holding me down..i dont mean they should go away
i just want a clean slate..to be able to start again and just live a simple life
no worries,taking each day as it comes with no stresses

in the end i cant do it on my own
i gotta call on the one on the throne

Lord
am sorry i took a step away from you
thinking i could make things through
take me back and help me
i cant handle this
its heavy no my shoulders
i cant carry it.........
am sorry please take me back
help me get rid of this stack
to get back on the right track
keep things intact
promise to do my part

your daughter
Ceecee


dec 3/07

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Black Ancestry

Bound in shackles
displaced,disgraced
separated,torn apart
one by one they march
away from the ones who hold their hearts
towards a life of work of cultivation
in the plantations of foreign nations

after many years passed
finally set free,from slavery
generations apart,not knowing were to start
so much lost..language,culture,art
yet it all started with new names given
by people no longer living

not knowing were to go
feeling all alone,including the grown
maybe settle in what has become home
displaced,disgraced
once again separated, torn apart
this time because of freedom
what once was family
scattered like forestry

some in the islands
we now call Caribbeans
others in the foreign lands
we now call Americans
And those who remained in the mother land
are known as Africans

Displaced,disgraced
separated, torn apart
thats my family tree
of black ancestry

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think about it

to be like dust in the wind
to be a passing moment
leaving no mark,no sign
not a moment in time
not in this life line
to mean....nothing to me

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These are in 3

1. lying here,on my own
deciding whether to let go
do i still want you?do i not?
i tried,i waited but now its time...
to pick up my pieces and say goodbye

2. wishing on a star
don't matter were you are
wishing this will never end
no matter what we do
you always come through
and for this i forever love you

3.i love you when you don't love me
i miss you when you don't miss me
i think of you when no one else is
having you is more than i deserve

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Love Songs

Many people me included don't think much of love songs but come to think of it they aint that bad.Sometimes when you sit down,turn your stereo on while sipping a good glass of white wine in the comfort of your home and pay attention to the lyrics it makes sense.
Kinda put your self in place of the subject of the song,as if it were written for only you.You realize one thing,this cheesy music actually touches that soft spot in your heart.Whether you had vowed not to love or you just broke up with someone or even if you got a little crush on someone.
Kinda making you feel you could have the courage to tell someone how you feel like the singer is telling the world about God knows who and if you have vowed that love ain't for you,it puts a yearn in your heart,a longing to let it out.
I have been listening to a couple of love songs lately and they made sense to me..perhaps they will make sense to you too so here is my pick

Dear Life-Anthony Hamilton
With you-Chris Brown
Falling in love with you-Tyrese
Can't help but wait-Trey Songz

Take time and listen to these songs....better yet with your heart and not just your ears!!

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.....

Emotions flowing
everything in turmoil
how did this begin
its like everything is all over the place
i don't wanna stress but i really cant help it
when thoughts of you annoy me
hearing your voice is unnerving
how can you not see
that you owe me an apology
you claim my misery is your pain
you must be on some strong drug
coz you don't seem to be feeling this
i have reached a point of edge
don't push me,you might not like what you see
so much darkness around
about time you lite a candle...before i walk out that door

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More than the eye....

Deceiving as looks may be
indeed i agree that there is more
to things than the eye can see

conceited,unpredictable sometimes difficult to understand
but behind all this there is much more.....
more strength,courage ability and independence
so much you don't know

if an animal..more like a duck..yes a duck
cool,composed,calm and beautiful
but all this on the surface..on the outside
underneath it all there is more..yes more
don't get me wrong
its not that all these are not possessed
it is that there is all this and more...yes and more

not everything is at it seems
read in between the lines and you will see
just because thats how it looks
doesn't mean thats how it is

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Friends ....really

when you say friend
what exactly do you mean
because if the definition of friendship was based on what you are to me
i suggest it be redefined
if not i don't want any more of your kind...friends

last time i checked the foundation of friendship is
trust, communication and love
i know you love me..hey i love you too
communication we are definitely not lacking at that
trust now thats something i would like to know about

if you claim to be my friend
and then you don't trust me
why would you tell me all these things
that are from deep within
that you would not tell every jack ,peter and jane

you make me question your position in my life
and why you ask?
because clearly you and i differ in our definition of friendship
and before we take another step lets work on this
and be on the same page or else go our separate ways

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What is all this!!!

why do things have to be complicated
why does it have to be sophisticated
its you and me and no one else
who have to work it out and decide......
whats all this

this being you and i
this being should we try
this meaning you decide
this this this this
tell me what this should be??

i thought what we had was real
to last a life time all we feel
i don't understand
how you can claim to love me
and still treat me this way
after we said come what may

whats the meaning of all this
wondering if there is an us or is it just you and i
i thought all this was based on trust
and giving your heart
guess i was wrong
how could i not see

you say its because you have been hurt
honestly...is that even an excuse
i been hurt too but i still give my all to you
let me know if you will be true
or is this just a waste of time

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And then he said to me

do u need prayers w. no answers
left there dead w/ no chances
acting so romantic
he know french and he speak spanish
we can atleast hand it
to him he played his cards
made a promise to love women and never play w/ they hearts
it was up hill @ first
but when there was less u could give her it hurt
Will i still mention the dirt
but it was messed when caught flirtn w/ a girl in red shirt
now to take us apart js took less work
but i guess i was wrong to take the first step

i saw the magic in ur eyes
Fashioned w/ the love that could enchant any one of these guys
i was afraid to lose u
@ the same time i was afraid to be truthful
strange and unsual
but wats usual seems a litu bit too involved
almost gave it my all
but then again who wouldnt
good lookn
she was proud of her boy
needed to make him a man
she took her time knowin she would shape him again
fail then try once again
friends lookn for the stats i gain
but she was the closest person to even being half my friend

sometimes experience never teach nothing
we either shake hands or greet huggin
even the devil need loving
so if my girl dont lean on me when she need something
she dont need nothing
learn to run while u learnin to crawl
thats how i grew up
today never depends on tomorrow
so livin life till i sleep in a morgue
aint nothing goin hold me back
parents was there to show me facts

maybe i never listened cuz u never bothered talkn
yh my door was open
but u'd always js storm in
and give me the notice
that u'd rather be w/ grown men
how am i to compete
street signs is there to help u move
so when u see signs
u can tell u lose

we r the champions
my friend
and we'll keep on n till the end
dreams are there to be fulfilled
love, we lived it so we know the drill
u gotta fall down fore u learn to fly
heaven or hell??? yeah first we die

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Thanks to math class

Sat behind you in math class
didn't really notice you
after all you were just another face
cant remember the first time we spoke
right now who cares point is we clicked from the start...

talked about everything with you
you were the one i ran to....when things were not going right
or even when i lost my sight

You brought out the best in me
Spending time with you was simply all i wanted do
The only place i longed you to be
was in my sight
because at that point everything seemed right
talking long on the phone,i could go on and on
never wanting to hung up and this was just the start
of how much you were slowly becoming a part of me

But now things have changed,never to be the same
maybe it was my mistake ,gave more than i should
was wrong when i thought you understood
i want to make things right,not to let you out of my sight
but am loosing grip,i feel like you are gonna slip
all because you didn't tell me about her
even when you knew i felt more for you
made me believe you felt for me too

you could have made it clear
then we would not be standing here
you say you love her but want me near
what is that supposed to be
me love you but not be loved back
you must be on crack
because i am not about to stab her in the back

Am gonna do whats right
and take a step back
because in this friendship we have lost track
If you love her go and be with her
don't let me hold you back
It will hurt but i will get over it
i am strong and you know it
all i gotta say is am glad we were friends
and now we must come to an end....

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thoughts.....

Sitting here thinking about you
all we went through
the smiles you put on my face
vanished into thin air
then i realize one thing
......i miss you

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*sigh*

A silent cry.....a cry of pain
torn in two....from the top right through
My heat drowning in pain
never to be the same
how can i love again

will i ever get through
pain right to the core
cant take this no more
as i realize you are long gone
taken away.....by death

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Think About It

Sometimes we are unsure
but we will never know until we take the step
take courage and let go
because you will never know
until you try
and who knows
you might just make it through

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Stand.....

A vine can not stand alone
it needs a tree,a pole,a wall to hold on to
for strength,shade,support..for more
every man is a vine
needing others to grow
in life,in times of sorrow
in summer,in winter,through the rain
do not be vain
thinking you can stand alone
and make it on your own
never forget you need others to be strong

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My Friend...NOT

i dont know how you do it
i really dont
you claim to care but we both know you dont
if you did you wouldnt do things that hurt me
and brush it off like its alright no its not...
what makes you think you have the liberty to be angry but i dont?? ,
have you ever tried to put yourself in my place
i look at you with a snare
and think how its so rare
to find people who will always be there

CeeCee, March 1/07

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X-cuses

is religion and race such an obstacle
standing in your way to be with someone
or being in harmony with the world

different Gods maybe...
different approaches to one God i believe

whatever the difference doesn't God
whoever you consider him to be
want you to love all men and accept them
stop using God as an excuse and deal with your issues

CeeCee, March1/07

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hypocrisy

hypocrisy is such a bitch
because the author is one hell of a snitch
i get the itch to punch you at the slightest twitch

you stand there and smile at me
from a mile i see that your lies are pile high

damn chik you must think am blind
keep in mind that
i know your kind

pretend like you care
thats not why you were there
tell me if that's fair

you slap me on the back
and you expect me to clap
of course am gonna snap
especially since now i know that you so full of crap

CeeCee, March 1/07

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to feel ,to see and to touch

a rustle through the trees
feel it in your hair
as you run along the track
feel it on your face
as you cool off in the sun
see it as it meets the water
the water dance...the ripples
sand on your palm.....blown away
feel the breeze,see the breeze
touch it and let it tickle you
as you feel the chill down your spine


CeeCee, July 7/07

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MIS........

MIS-understood
every expression,
verbal,physical even emotional
don't you see that am just trying to be me
you got no say,all you need to do
is just try and see it from my point of view

MIS-communication
is that whats between us
every word or action
i mean one thing you take it as another
is it me, is it you....how do i get things through to you

MIS-trust
thats just the way it is
nothing can change that fact
this is what created the first crack
in the structure that was once intact
the one that was more than just you and me
but more of a WE

MIS-take
can i define it as what we have
i feel like maybe this shouldn't be
should we just be through
you move on i do too.....

regardless of all the MIS between us
there is only one that matters
its the one telling me that i MISS you
and i want us to work this mis...
and make it through

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